To Walk a Lonely Road
by Colloquial Nematocyst
Summary: If things had been just a little bit different, if they had walked the same path... Mostly Mello-centric. Slightly Mello/Near if you squint.


A/N: A little explanation about this one-shot. Many assume that Mello was openly cruel to Near during their days at Wammy's. I don't think he was, though - I think that he and Near had differences of opinion, and that coupled with Near constantly beating Mello on tests probably made Mello hostile towards him. However, as told in this fic, I think that if Near were to show a little emotion, and to approach Mello personally, Mello would be willing to listen to him. Obviously, this takes place before Mello leaves and is corrupted. Were he in that state of mind, this situation wouldn't be possible, as Mello would be too twisted by then and Near would be too distant. But, assuming that things happened just a little differently...

* * *

To Walk a Lonely Road

Sun streamed into the library, lighting upon softly gleaming hardwood floors and producing an amber glow that seemed at once both calming and energizing, as a breath of fresh air might be on a midsummer day. The windows were open to the grounds, allowing the shouts of happily playing children to carry through into the airy room, which itself was silent. The smell of grass floated in on a gentle breeze, mingling with the dusty scent of old books as it eddied between shelves and far-spaced tables.

To the young blonde, curled up and reading in a worn chair, these sensations were not so much separate ones to be thought of as such, but rather pieces of the warm contentment he only felt in this room, on a day exactly like this one. It wasn't happiness, not really – Mello felt that even less often. It was more a general feeling of well-being, as if somehow the burden of feeling as if he were always being watched and compared had been lifted, and he need never worry about it again. There were no other orphans here to envy his accomplishments, or to be cruel to him because of his snappish, solitary nature. He felt almost... free.

_Thunk, thunk-swish, thunk, thunk-swish.... _Mello knew that sound. His eyes narrowed, and his guard was instantly up. He put his book down and leveled his icy gaze at the person who had disturbed him.

"Near." The albino, standing in a space of shade to Mello's right so as to avoid the harmful sunshine, was leaning on a silvery walking stick to help support his right leg. He swayed slightly on the spot, eyes locked onto the other boy's.

"Good morning, Mello," Near said softly, his quiet, feminine voice somehow quite easy to hear over the squeals outside. Mello dipped his head in acknowledgment and said nothing. "May I join you?" Again, the same jerky movement, though Mello's eyes were now even more distrustful. Near, neither expecting nor receiving assistance from the older boy, took a minute to sit down on the floor beside Mello's chair, stretching his injured leg gingerly so that it lay straight on the hard wood and laying the walking stick on the floor beside him, where the gleaming metal contrasted with the rich brown.

And there was silence.

"What do you want?" Mello snapped, perhaps more harshly than he had meant, but the quiet between them... irked him. Near didn't seem to care that the blonde's tone was rough, however. He reached up and took hold of a silvery strand of hair, twirling it absently around two spidery fingers, pale face contemplative.

Finally, "I don't think that I know." Mello quirked a pale eyebrow, disbelief evident in his blue-green eyes. Near did nothing without reason. That he had sought Mello out indicated that he wished to say or do something important. Mello waited, folding his arms and beginning to tap a long, slender finger against one elbow. Sure enough, the albino continued, "No, perhaps I do... however..."

"...Near, if you have a point, make it," the blonde said flatly, "otherwise, I have work to do." He cast his gaze to the book that he had placed on the arm of his chair. Near ignored his words and remained silent, closing his eyes seemingly in thought. With a hiss of impatience, Mello reached for the text in order to pick back up with his reading. Giving no warning other than a small rustle of fabric, the hand that Near had not been using to twirl his hair shot out, catching the older boy's wrist between two delicate fingers and a thumb. Near's eyes opened and drifted back again to meet Mello's, and he released his grip. Mello didn't try it again, instead crossing his arms for the second time and meeting the other boy's stare. For the first time since Mello had known him, Near looked away first, twisting the white strands between his fingers furiously.

"Mello, I... I believe Kira will... kill L... soon." Mello's hand clenched compulsively on the arm of his chair. Near saw what was coming and braced himself.

"Near, that's _stupid_!" the blonde exploded. "L has _never_ failed to solve a case before-"

"I didn't say he'd fail to solve it, not exactly, but I don't think L will beat Kira. They are obviously closing in on each other, if they haven't already, and with things progressing this quickly, I don't think it will be long before one of them discovers the other.

"Kira is very, very intelligent, Mello – he won't give himself away, and he won't make many mistakes. That means he will likely have L in the weaker position, and with that advantage, coupled with what I suspect to be a superior intellect to L's, I have little doubt that L will ultimately fail to bring him to justice.

"However, Kira is childish as well – if he has L stuck, he will likely reveal himself at the last second so as to have an opportunity to gloat. Thus, L will discover his identity in the event that Kira decides to go face-to-face. ...Anyone who examines the people closest to L (in the event of his death) will have possible suspects for being Kira."

"Near...." Mello shook his head, covering his face with his hands, but he couldn't refute what the albino had said. It made sense.

"But, Mello, this isn't what I wanted to talk to you about... at least, it's only part of it." Mello looked up through his fingers. "I wanted to ask you... if L dies without... choosing... what will you do?"

"What, you mean what am I going to do if L dies and you're the automatic replacement?" Mello snapped coldly. Near opened his mouth as if to speak, then realized he would probably only anger the other boy more if he did. Biting his lip, the small boy simply nodded. Mello glared at him for a moment, then turned to look out of the window and sighed, anger melting away in the face of his fear of... of what? Being forgotten, cast aside even with all his effort to succeed? Being... unworthy? He suddenly felt vulnerable, and folded his arms across his chest before turning back to Near. "...I don't know. I just... don't know."

Near blinked. He hadn't expected Mello to let his guard down like that. He'd hoped, of course, to get the other boy to listen to him, but he hadn't thought it would be this easy.... Clearly, Mello had been thinking about the Kira case's outcome as well. Taking a deep breath, Near stood, favoring his weak leg and conscious of the elder's eyes on him. Now on both feet and looking down upon Mello, the albino found that it was quite difficult to remain upright without his crutch. He laid one hand on Mello's chair for support - the blonde didn't move an inch, and didn't let his gaze stray from Near's for a second - and reached out with the other hand. "Mello, if L is beaten by Kira and I succeed him, I don't want to be alone. I don't... I don't think I can do this by myself, and... if I could ask anyone to stand with me, it would be you...."

Mello stared numbly at the hand that Near was offering him. It didn't seem real. Near didn't make requests, Near didn't let his feelings influence anything, because Near was _perfect_. And yet, here he was... asking Mello to work with him as an equal... as if he really did need him.... The blonde sought Near's eyes, and what he saw there decided for him. It would be a hard road to walk by Near's side, but a harder one alone, and if Mello was honest with himself, he could think of no one he respected more, no one he would find more worthy than Near.

Mello stood, taking the smaller boy's pale hand in his own and using the other to steady the still-wobbly Near. His voice was raw as he spoke. "Okay. We'll do this... together."

* * *

End.


End file.
